We know you called no take backs, but El Guapo and the folks at The Daily Refried Offices are begging to be done with this new, improved racism 2.0. It’s like Pepsi Clear (remember the short-lived rampage that companies were on in the 80’s where they thought we wanted to see through everything?) Anyway, like Pepsi Clear we tried it and we no likey.
We’d much prefer a return to our old, worn (but oddly comfortable), run-of-the-mill, in-your-face variety of racism. Katt Williams’ much-publicized Michael-Richards-level racist meltdown, for instance, was a much-needed breath of fresh air.
Nothing like a burning effigy with a big sombrero, wrapped in a Mexican flag to let you know where you stand. Here at The Daily Refried, we like to know where we stand. Instead, what do we typically get these days?
Well, usually we get plenty of well and not so well-intentioned folks saying wonderfully mysterious things that are far too cloaked or ambiguous or wrapped in some serious, transparent racial-guilt.
“I love Latinos.”
(All of us? Really? Even we don’t like all of us. Have you, for instance, heard of Carlos Mencia?… Glad you like us all though.)
“You’re not like a regular Mexican, though. You’re different. You know what I mean?”
(No. We don’t. At all. But we’d love to keep watching as you awkwardly explain yourself.)
“Did you make these taquitos?”
(Really? I mean the box is right here. Look. You saw me take them out of the freezer and put them into the microwave.)
“Your culture is so lively, so spicy.”
(Thanks, but that’s not our culture – it’s a Taco Bell chimichanga that you covered with a packet of salsa.)
“Oh, but I married a Puerto Rican.”
(Oh, sh*t, my fault. Say whatever racist thing you want then, because since you married a Latino, you are wrapped in a cloak of Latino invincibility.)