The Tournament of Roses team of Viera and Lauer took their specific skill set onto the international stage this past Friday at the 2012 London Olympics Opening Ceremony and stuck the landing. Many consider the duo to be holders of a reverse Midas touch – where they have an uncanny ability to turn all topics – independent of relative importance – into vapid, shitty morning show chit chat.
As a result of their impressive performance during the Opening Ceremonies, the world’s nations have taken a moment from the competition to ask that the trio of Viera, Lauer, and pocket-sized Bob Costas kindly refrain from ever manning suicide hotlines in the future. There is serious fear that their blunt-force charisma and jedi-level, light-hearted chit-chat might prove too much for someone on the edge. Even North Korea and Iran joined hands with the international community on the issue.
Crisis specialists have endorsed this ban and have asked anyone who feels they may be suffering from depression to avoid the Olympic games altogether.
On a bright note, viewers got a sneak peak into Meredith Viera’s iTunes library, and, more importantly, Americans had next to nothing added to their non-existent knowledge of world geography or cultures.
Your handsome and humble servant-
[Photo by VancityAllie]