In an unprecedented development, the Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Future met yesterday to determine whether or not they would be joining the ever-growing line of those publicly accusing the President Elect of the United States of sexual assault. All three ghosts claim to have gone to Trump Tower in New York during Trump’s pre-tweeting hours with the intention of guiding him towards a personal epiphany. The Ghost of Christmas Present recalls that he “planned on taking Trump to visit as many of the individuals he threatened and insulted during his campaign as possible” but ended up abandoning the plan instantly when Trump began hate-tweeting when his advances were declined.
“Never, again,” the Ghost of Christmas Past added and rattled his chains. “That sick man reached out with those little orange, baby hands and just grabbed at my crotch. I had to swat him away and I was so thrown that I didn’t even get a chance to take him back to that time he was 8 years old and he kept nailing neighborhood pets to the shed where his father kept the family’s Nazi memorabilia.”
Your handsome and humble servant-
Photo credit By ABC Television (eBay itemphoto frontphoto back) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons