So, like the rest of us, you were probably sniffing White Out during your 7th grade civics class and it’s all pretty much a blur. Now, details of the recent debt ceiling agreement emerge, and you’re wondering what the hell a “Super Congress” is. Here’s what we know:
These are tough times. And in times of great distress, critical decisions must be made and tough actions taken. When it gets to be too much for the country’s leaders, they run and call the ultimate superheroes on the planet – “The Super Congress”. Perhaps you’ve heard of the Avengers or X-Men? Well, “The Super Congress” is nothing like them.
Not much is known about the members of this elite team, except that they got their powers from a mysterious glowing, neon lobbyist. Some suspect the mystery man was tied to nuclear energy, but there has been no conclusive evidence. Bestowed on all selected members will be the ultimate congressional power – the ability to screw the entire middle class with an unheard of speed and precision. When the Super Congress is needed, Congress simply shines a spotlight into the night sky in the shape of a middle class citizen bending over.
The fierce team’s motto: “You can resist, but that’s kind of the way we like it.”
As the recent debt ceiling loomed over the US, Congress decided that calling in the big dogs was their only option for properly slashing the national budget. Fear not, we’re in good hands.
The gap between rich and poor has quadrupled in the past 30 years, but this team guarantees that it can finally put the three remaining middle class families out of their misery. Praise Jesus.