Sinvergüenza Spotlight: Mexicans

It was inevitable.  John McCain and company have figured it all out.

They have called out Mexicans for their dastardly, mustache-twirling ways.  In a recent press conference, McCain attributed the cause of the largest, most destructive wildfires in Arizona history to Mexican immigrants.  According to McCain:

They have set fires because they want to signal others. They have set fires to keep warm and they have set fires in order to divert law enforcement agents and agencies from them.

McCain went on to use this as an opportunity to underscore the need for a more secure southern border.  Sure, there has not been one substantiated shred of evidence and even the US Forest Service has dismissed McCain’s claims, but there has been confirmation that the source of the terrible fires was human.

You know who’s human? That’s right. Mexicans.  I’ll give you a moment to pick your jaw up off the floor.

Even with this undeniable link, those obsessed with “evidence” and “truth” are shouting that this is political pandering meant to exploit the wildfires and fan the anti-immigrant, xenophobic flames that have roared through the region for some time now.

Might as well come clean altogether, Mexicans.  Here are 5 more legitimate accusations that McCain has fired at Mexican immigrants:

  1. The recent oil spill was caused by swarms of Mexicans who swam across The Gulf and sliced oil pipes open with their “very pointy boots”.

  2. Pinatas, a Mexican tradition increasingly popular in the US, are the leading cause of heroin addiction among children.

  3. Chespirito re-runs include subliminal messages used to help Mexicans in the US coordinate a full scale military operation aimed at reconquest of the southwest.

  4. Mexicans wielding accordions are coming in hordes to crush American workers (literally and figuratively) – using only their freakishly strong arms.

  5. In Arizona, “anchor babies” falling from the sky are the leading cause of concussions for Arizona citizens.  (McCain reports that the babies rain down like they were shot out of those t-shirt cannons they use at sporting events.)

God bless Senator John McCain for showing us all the shamelessness of Mexican immigrants.

Your handsome and humble servant,

- El Guapo

El Guapo writes the blog The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried.

[photos courtesy of Image Editor, arcticpuppy, vbs.tv]

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