When’s the last time you saw a baby on board sign?  Were you wearing acid-washed jeans and blasting your Walkman? Probably.

When humanity no longer cares to protect its young, civilization is surely doomed.  Those informative yellow signs that were once found on cars everywhere to clearly alert fellow drivers to go ahead and smash headlong into another, non-baby-carrying vehicle have gone the way of the suction-cup Garfields.  Our newfound hatred for children and lasagna-loving cats can only mean that God’s wrath is inevitable.  What kind of world are we living in. Pray.  Pray hard.

The End Is Near.


El Guapo doesn’t like to be the bearer of bad news… Well…OK…He, in fact, likes it quite a bit.  It’s true.  As of late, he finds himself roaming high schools and colleges with a megaphone and shouting disheartening employment statistics to future grads.  He performs the Surgeon General’s Warning about the dangers of smoking in a dramatic monologue, outside bodegas using semi-clean sock puppets and lots of kerosene  In both cases, he’s been asked by authorities to stop…

As a result, what you’ve read is undeniable evidence that the end of days is near.  Our collective hours are numbered, and there’s overwhelming evidence to prove it.   The Mayans and their doomsday scenarios are correct… 2012 here we come and off we go.