Despite spending a generation slipping crushed birth control pills into Tapatio salsa and pushing to take the vote away from anyone whose name ends with a ‘Z,” the GOP has finally seemingly resigned itself to needing at least a couple of Latinos to vote for their candidate.
The presumptive GOP presidential candidate, Mitt Romney, has set his sights on convincing Latino voters that he’s the “hombre” for the “yob”. Former “Romney adviser Mike Murphy said last month that the growth of the Latino population means Republicans must pay closer attention to those voters than they have in the past.” In response, Romney has started frequenting Taco Bell and being liberal with the packets of mild salsa – making comical expressions, shouting “Ay-Ay-Ay.”
Cynics claim it’s more of the same pandering that all politicians resort to as elections draw near, but Romney and company dispute this and want Latino voters to know that, like them, all they’re trying to do is “Live Más.”
While speaking at Latino Coalition, Romney tried to underscore what separates him from the inevitable Democratic presidential nominee. “Huevos. It all boils down to huevos. Here look, let me show you what I mean.” He then proceeded to pull out his huevos for all to see. The audience was awestruck by his huevos.
His Faberge huevos were ornate, impressive, and larger than anyone expected.
Your handsome and humble servant-