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Chicago Fighting to Use Unmanned Drones To Target Poor Kids

160 schools in Chicago do not have a school library. The nation’s third largest school district has also been in the news lately for the controversial decision to close 50 public schools. Homicide rates in Chicago – particularly in certain pockets of the city – continue to be some of the highest in the nation. Child poverty rates – disproportionately affecting the city’s minority children – are on the...

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Flowing Stream of Shit Produced By Steve King’s Mouth Ignites Manure Bidding War

Flowing Stream of Shit Produced By Steve King’s Mouth Ignites Manure Bidding War

Iowa Representative Steve King shoots from the hip. He tells it like it is. He, if you question his controversial positions, will likely advise you to talk to the booty because the hand is surely off duty. He was one of 11 in Congress to vote against the Katrina Aid package. He’s absolutely and unequivocally in favor of racial profiling. He consistently fights for the rights of the nation’s most persecuted group, white men…the...

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Congress Thrilled: “We Have an Approval Rating Better Than Ariel Castro”

Congress Thrilled: “We Have an Approval Rating Better Than Ariel Castro”

Early Thursday afternoon, convicted kidnapper, murderer and rapist Ariel Castro was sentenced to life in prison plus 1,000 years for his heinous crimes against 3 Cleveland women. The judge in the case called Castro a “violent sexual predator” and normal people everywhere became more and more enraged and nauseous as they watched Castro defend his actions against what he believed was an unfair depiction of him as a monster. At the...

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Rick Perry: “Ladies, If Your Uterus Shot Bullets, I’d Protect the Ever-Living Shit Out of It”

Rick Perry: “Ladies, If Your Uterus Shot Bullets, I’d Protect the Ever-Living Shit Out of It”

Leading up to his big announcement Monday morning, Rick Perry stood before a crowd and went down a list of what he considered his major accomplishments during his 13-year tenure as Governor of Texas. Perry touted the state’s economic growth and his refusal to play ball with Washington bigwigs when their policies would hurt the Longhorn state. He quoted some scripture. He went out on a limb and admitted that he was, in fact,...

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Rick Perry’s Big Announcement: Moving From Velcro to Regular Laces

Rick Perry’s Big Announcement: Moving From Velcro to Regular Laces

After teasing everyone for the past week about an upcoming massive announcement, today Texas Governor, Rick Perry, surprised all of Texas when he proclaimed proudly, boyishly that he will be leaving behind his patented, beloved Velcro wingtips and moving on to regular shoes with regular shoelaces. Sources close to the governor admit that this rather shocking change is a direct result of the overwhelming support Senator Wendy Davis received...

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Homophobic Scalia: “I Thought Grindr Was An App For Coffee Aficionados”

Antonin Scalia, conservative Supreme Court Justice and vehement opponent of gay rights, recently stumbled into what many are categorizing as an “awkward situation” when he found himself – unknowingly, according to him – in the middle of Chicago’s Pride Parade. Scalia told The Daily Refried that he is new to smartphones and mistakenly downloaded the Grindr app – an app primarily used to help gay men find...

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NFL to Permit Fans to Exchange Aaron Hernandez For OJ Simpson Jersey

After star Patriots’ tight end Aaron Hernandez was arrested in connection with the murder of Odin Lloyd Wednesday morning, the National Football League announced that they would be allowing fans to trade in their Hernandez jerseys for a throwback OJ Simpson jersey (or an even more rare Rae Caruth jersey.) Fans have rejoiced at the chance to get the rare jersey of a Hall of Fame player who was acquitted outright of the murder of his...

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Devious Maids Spin-Off, Treacherous Dishwashers, Airing on NBC This Fall

Devious Maids, a new Lifetime series created by Desperate Housewives creator Marc Cherry and former Housewives star Eva Longoria, centers around a group of Latina maids working in Beverly Hills. Even before it premiered last night, the show had its fair share of critics bemoaning the fact that, in their opinion, this is simply more of the same from Hollywood. They argue that TV and film overwhelmingly portray Latinas as either maids or as...

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Follow the Money: Who Has the Most to Gain From Global Warming?

Follow the Money: Who Has the Most to Gain From Global Warming?

Your handsome and humble servant- El Guapo El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter...

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Fox News Hires Paula Deen To Host Plantation-Themed Morning Show

Fox News Hires Paula Deen To Host Plantation-Themed Morning Show

In a press release yesterday, Fox News confirmed that they will be introducing a new plantation-themed morning show hosted by former Food Network star, NAACP award recipient, and plantation enthusiast Paula Deen. While the network is keeping a tight lid on the details, top executives who requested they not be named admit Fox is trying to cement its standing in a coveted demographic: conservative Southern whites who wish it was still 1852....

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