When on the campaign trail courting critical Latino votes during his run to the presidency, Mr. Obama underscored the importance of logical and humane immigration reform.

We are not going to ship back 12 million people, we’re not going to do it as a practical matter. We would have to take all our law enforcement that we have available and we would have to use it and put people on buses, and rip families apart, and that’s not who we are, that’s not what America is about. So what I’ve proposed… is you say we’re going to bring these folks out of the shadows. We’re going to make them pay a fine, they are going to have to learn English, they are going to have to go to the back of the line…but they will have a pathway to citizenship over the course of 10 years.

But, after receiving scathing criticism from Latino groups for a record number of deportations under his watch – many of which separated families and affected even those brought to the country as young children – Obama wants to set the record straight.

Those deportations have been entirely ironic.

His hipster love-affair with irony started, the President claims, with a pair of skinny jeans and a lensless pair of 3-D glasses he started wearing to Cabinet meetings. Once bitten, he moved on and began keeping his intelligence reports in a Hello Kitty Trapper Keeper and scribbling notes in a New Kids on the Block notebook (using an oversized novelty pencil). Most recently, he has added a faded, wrinkled “Commando-in-Chief” T-shirt to his arsenal.

So, the jaw-dropping number of deportations, he’ll have you know, were all authorized with a deep and significant sense of irony. No harm, no foul.

Even though his predecessors all deported fewer undocumented, he wants you to remember that they did what they did in all earnestness. That’s not cool at all.

If he has offended potential Latino voters, he wants to assure you he’s willing to go as far as attending large Latino gatherings and sprinkling in a Spanish word here and there.  Comprende, vat@s?

Admittedly, El Guapo had some trouble deciphering the President’s message as Mr. Obama insisted on putting every word in air quotes.

Your handsome and humble servant-

“El Guapo”

[Photo courtesy marcn]



  • norag60

    ONE WORD        LIAR

  • Hernandezjuac

    He is a pathetic liar. He will say anything to get a vote, but he is questioned, they are being racist. I hope my Latino community sees him for the what he is, a manipulative liar.