You know what’s important to people based on the bumper stickers shellacked on their 1993 Ford Focus. Of course, some bumper stickers are exceedingly popular. So, here are just a few ways to keep them fresh. And while I don’t advocate walking around with a sharpie in hand editing the profound words that fit on an 11 x 3 sticker and underscore a person’s worldview I can’t stop you from doing so…
10. Honk if you love Jesus [Garcia]
9. Pro- [stitution is] Life
8. My son/daughter is an Honor Roll Student [in a public school *shrug*].
7. Jesus died for your sins [,and he’s regretted it ever since.]
6. VOTE! [while drunk…].
5. I’d rather be f
ishing [strike the “ish”].
4. [Dickhead A, B, C, or D] for President.
God is Your Co-Pilot Swap Seats [Stevie Wonder].
2. My Boss is a
Jewish Carpenter [nondenominational prick].
1. I don’t [
eat] anything with a face [insert favorite verb].