You know how some people get excited about shit.
Yeah. Agreed. That’s pretty lame. You don’t have to tell me, G. I’m down with that. As a matter of fact I’d raise the roof if I wasn’t so apathetic about the whole damn thing. Whatever, right?
What am I doing? Like with my hands? You’ve never heard of Arsenio Hall? You just woof and throw a fist around like…
…Oh, forget it. I’m just getting jiggy with some tunes on my Discman, man. Nah-meen?
Anywayz, you’ve probably met some of these enthusiastic types in school, at work, and/or shouting things in the subway. Sometimes they are quoting the bible and informing you that you will be going to hell, and considering what you did last weekend with that traffic cone I can’t say that I can really refute this. You probably are.
Sometimes they even try to guilt you into putting down your iPhone or X-box controller to talk about some cause, but Homey don’t play that – Am I right? We got shit to Tweet and places to stand in front of and snap Instagram pics. And Facebook won’t patrol itself – I got to like stuff before everyone else likes it or then what’s the point. And what the hell are my virtual sheep gonna do if I leave to go vote?
However, there are many enthusiastic individuals out there who will be trying to get you to register to vote if you’re not already registered. If you are already registered, you better believe that people won’t shut up about your civic duty. Yeah. They’ll say “doodie” and when you can’t stop laughing, they’ll get all mad and stuff. I mean LOL fo’shizzle, G-Money, right?
I mean that’s just wiggity wiggity whack. Well, just know that all of these overzealous idiots – I mean “scrubs” because they get no love from me – don’t care about your Diablo III progress. It’s like they’ve never heard of that cool new band or they’ve never hung out with some friends and enjoyed a malted at the local soda fountain while Tweeting at each other. Old people are so lame, right? Some are even like over 30 and stuff.
Just know that – like on the reelz – voting ain’t nuthing to mess with. All these old guys in suits talking all boring about jobs and how Latinos need to represent. We know what time it is, we got the flava-flav clocks synchronized, yo. Shut up about voting, and stop talking about how Latinos need to vote. I voted for American Idol and The Voice, man. That’s twice already.
You’re doing ah-eight. Mom cuts the edges off your peanut butter sandwiches and all that and brings it to you during your Mario Kart races, so why would you walk down the block to vote for some guy in a suit who never once cut the crust of your shit?
I gotta go do up my faux-halk and whatnot. Peace.
Your handsome and humble servant-
[Photo by League of Women Voters of California]