PHILADELPHIA, PA– Democratic Vice Presidential Candidate Tim Kaine spared no detail when describing the ordeal he went though last month. His kitchen remodel should have gone smoothly, he assured Iowa Delegate Rufus Delmonte at the DNC after party.
“He just kept going on and on,” Delmonte reported. “I wanted him to stop. At one point, I told him I was really thirsty when he started talking about his tough backslash choice… but then he put his hand on my shoulder and sort of held me there until he finished. My fellow state delegates slowly drifted away to go listen to Snoop Dogg who was performing, leaving me to listen to the rest of Kiane’s story by myself.”
Your handsome and humble servant-