After a leaked voicemail where LA Clippers ‘owner and chief executive xenophobe, Donald Sterling, allegedly reprimanded his girlfriend for having blacks and Latinos on her Instagram account, The Republican National Committee knew they had their man. “We’ve been working hard to reach a more diverse demographic. The Republican Party is finally ready to spread its wings and become more inclusive, but it can’t be business as usual. We have most of the racist white guy vote secured, without a doubt. We’ve been riding that horse for some time, but there are more nuanced types that we have been unable to lock down consistently. By poaching registered Democrat Donald Sterling we gain some real traction in the less-known, elusive demographic: the racist white dude that hates blacks and Latinos, but enjoys having a black-Latina on his arm,” Reince Priebus, RNC Chiarman explained.
Preibus said that after Sterling came to their attention, The Republican National Committee called an emergency session and unanimously selected him to lead the party into the next generation. “With his eloquent delivery, his intellect, and his business ties, we can blossom in time for the 2016 presidential election. We’re trying to convince Cliven Bundy to complete the super ticket.”
Your handsome and humble servant-
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