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In Ultimate Mind Pluck, Obama Pardons One Turkey, Only To Carve Up Friend and Eat Him

In Ultimate Mind Pluck, Obama Pardons One Turkey, Only To Carve Up Friend and Eat Him

It’s an American tradition. Every year the standing US President pardons a turkey – saving it from the delicious fate that befalls so many birds on Thanksgiving Day. Of course, the White House kitchen still cooks up a traditional turkey for the first family. So what gives? Our resident Daily Refried psychologist says it’s a rather straightforward answer: “It’s the ultimate fowl mind fuck.” “While...

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Barney’s Announces It Will Not Participate In Black Friday, Black Monday, Or Black Anything For That Matter

Barney’s Announces It Will Not Participate In Black Friday, Black Monday, Or Black Anything For That Matter

Heading into the holiday season, high-end retailer Barney’s is still licking its wounds and trying to repair its image after several recent high-profile accusations of racial profiling. On April 29 of this year, a 19 year old college student was stopped by undercover NYPD officers after having left Barney’s. They believed he could not afford the $350 Barney’s belt he had purchased with a debit card. The resulting lawsuit...

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After LAX Shooting, Young White Males Fear Racial Profiling

After LAX Shooting, Young White Males Fear Racial Profiling

After the tragedy at LAX, Chip Donaldson Jr. fears what may come next. “Look, I’m just saying, I can see how there might be a national knee-jerk reaction considering that a disproportionate number of these senseless mass shootings are committed by young white guys, but I just don’t think it’s fair to assume that all young white men are potential sociopaths. There are young white male children out there – still...

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Study Concludes Candy Corn Consumption Leads to Heroin Addiction

Study Concludes Candy Corn Consumption Leads to Heroin Addiction

Those that consume and defend candy corn may have to think twice after a recent study revealed a direct correlation between the holiday confection and heroin use and addiction. 9,000 metric tons of the holiday specialty are sold every year, and, for many it is the definitive marker of the Halloween season. However, this “treat” may have a darker side. According to lab-coated staff at The Daily Refried research facility (full...

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How Candy Corn Was Invented, The Gripping Tale

How Candy Corn Was Invented, The Gripping Tale

Your handsome and humble servant- El Guapo El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things. Follow him onFacebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried. Candy Jar Photo by Juushika Redgrave Museum-quality historic drawing by El...

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Dia de los Twerkos: The Perfect Blend of Cultures

Dia de los Twerkos: The Perfect Blend of Cultures

There’s nothing sweeter than the cross-pollination of cultures. We are reminded of this every time we drive past a combination Taco Bell-Pizza Hut. El Dia De Los Muertos, a Mexican holiday observed to honor and pray for the dead, is actually a result of such a cross-pollination. Pre-Columbian civilizations like the Aztecs held month-long festivals for the dead and dedicated this period to the goddess Mictecacihuatl. After Columbus,...

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