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“Gays’ Obsession With Marriage Is Just Pitiful” Limbaugh Tells His Fourth Wife

“Gays’ Obsession With Marriage Is Just Pitiful” Limbaugh Tells His Fourth Wife

Tuesday was like any other day for Rush Limbaugh – the face (and one could say the robust body) of The Republican Party. He grabbed his hard hat and lunch pail and headed off to the salt mines. He spent the day having respectful, intelligent, and useful exchanges with his listeners. He had his favorite lunch (the fresh kidneys of small children drizzled with the blood of a poor gay – both grass-fed and organic). After a long and...

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The Gluttony Project: Semper Fry

The Gluttony Project: Semper Fry

On the fifth trip up to the buffet, you fight gnawing fatigue like a champ. Your jaw aches. You’ve unbuttoned your pants with the same single-minded determination of Rocky Balboa asking Mick to cut his swollen eye. The meat-sweats have started. You’ve eaten so much that you can feel your last mouthful clawing its way back up your throat. But, you paid $11.99 for this buffet, and that, by law, gives you the right to eat a week’s worth...

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Happy Motherfucking Mothers’ Day

Happy Motherfucking Mothers’ Day

Some mothers are impossible to shop for. For them, try this sure-fire technique: To all of the others, the great moms who pretend to love the macaroni necklaces, finger paintings, and other assorted crap  every year, Happy Mothers’ Day. Your handsome and humble servant- El Guapo El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or...

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This Is Why We Need Smaller Government

This Is Why We Need Smaller Government

Republicans are the party incessantly rallying against big government. I see what they mean. I can’t afford to start paying for these tickets. Your handsome and humble servant- El Guapo El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things sinvergüenza. Follow him on Facebook or Twitter @TheDailyRefried. [photo...

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Tanning Mom Replaces Demoralized Chester Cheetah As Cheetos Spokesperson

Tanning Mom Replaces Demoralized Chester Cheetah As Cheetos Spokesperson

It seems that Patricia ”Tanning Mom” Krentcil, the mother who has gained notoriety for allegedly taking her 5-year-old into a tanning bed (reportedly resulting in serious skin burns), is stretching her 15 minutes of fame with the help of the Frito-Lay company – makers of Cheetos.  The company won a heated bidding war with Wilson, the makers of the Official NFL gameday football.  Several big-time tanneries also threw...

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Sylvester Stallone: One Man’s Struggle To Unleash His Inner Chola

Sylvester Stallone: One Man’s Struggle To Unleash His Inner Chola

Why has beloved arched-eyebrow, action powerhouse Sylvester Stallone been attracted to making violent films where he plays a monosyllabic, rage-fueled animal with an attitude, forever armed with a snarl and weapons ranging from broken bottles to assault weapons? The short answer: He’s a chola. Your handsome and humble servant- El Guapo El Guapo writes The Daily Refried, and is, without question, the foremost authority on all things...

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