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Chicago Mayor Wishes Charter School Teachers a Happy Teacher Appreciation Week

Chicago Mayor Wishes Charter School Teachers a Happy Teacher Appreciation Week

  (above) Mayor Rahm Emanuel asks his security staff to remove a confused Chicago Public school teacher from today’s Charter School Teacher Appreciation Day event after the uninvited guest mistakenly stumbled into the gala and took a bagel that was clearly marked as being for her Charter school colleagues. Emanuel announced that it was another example of union thugs trying to take what’s not theirs. He then returned...

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Rescue Party Still Searching For Journalists Lodged in Washington’s Rectum After WHCD

Rescue Party Still Searching For Journalists Lodged in Washington’s Rectum After WHCD

The orgasmic joy of the White House Correspondents’ Dinner was short-lived this year for a handful of journalists. The eagerly-anticipated event affectionately referred to as “Nerd Prom” by White House insiders and members of the media charged with covering the beltway was a smashing success as usual, but tragedy has cast a long shadow over this year’s festivities as five members of the White House press corps...

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L.A. Clippers’ Owner Receives 2016 Republican Presidential Nomination In Unanimous Vote

L.A. Clippers’ Owner Receives 2016 Republican Presidential Nomination In Unanimous Vote

After a leaked voicemail where LA Clippers ‘owner and chief executive xenophobe, Donald Sterling, allegedly reprimanded his girlfriend for having blacks and Latinos on her Instagram account, The Republican National Committee knew they had their man. “We’ve been working hard to reach a more diverse demographic. The Republican Party is finally ready to spread its wings and become more inclusive, but it can’t be...

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In Response to Outrage, SNL Hires 3 Latino Craft Service Employees

In Response to Outrage, SNL Hires 3 Latino Craft Service Employees

After receiving recent criticism for its historic lack of racial and ethnic diversity, SNL added its first black female cast member since 2007. But as is the case with things like this, this has resulted in other underrepresented demographic groups pouting and complaining vociferously about being left out. Latinos have been particularly harsh critics of the late night sketch show claiming that they have not hired a Latina cast member in...

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El Guapo Live Tweets Black Friday Carnage

El Guapo Live Tweets Black Friday Carnage

#LiveTweetBlackFriday Middle-aged white lady just clotheslined me. Blood is pooling. She got the last toaster oven. Tell mom I love her. — El Guapo (@TheDailyRefried) November 29, 2013   #LiveTweetBlackFriday I had to leave my leg behind. It was a lost cause. Amputated it with a spatula from housewares. Xbox here I come! — El Guapo (@TheDailyRefried) November 29, 2013   #LiveTweetBlackFriday old guy just hit me with his...

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In Ultimate Mind Pluck, Obama Pardons One Turkey, Only To Carve Up Friend and Eat Him

In Ultimate Mind Pluck, Obama Pardons One Turkey, Only To Carve Up Friend and Eat Him

It’s an American tradition. Every year the standing US President pardons a turkey – saving it from the delicious fate that befalls so many birds on Thanksgiving Day. Of course, the White House kitchen still cooks up a traditional turkey for the first family. So what gives? Our resident Daily Refried psychologist says it’s a rather straightforward answer: “It’s the ultimate fowl mind fuck.” “While...

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