Ben Roethlisberger Injured.Pittsburgh Women Ordered Indoors During Recovery
Fantasy Football enthusiasts and suspicious women everywhere are watching the developments of  Pittsburgh quarterback Ben Roethlisberger’s recent ankle injury carefully.  Injured in last Sunday’s game, Roethlisberger is favoring that leg and walking with a limp.
The city of Pittsburgh – unsure of just how this has affected his mobility and reach – has decided to risk erring on the side of caution.  Authorities have ordered women between 18-35 to remain indoors until further notice.
The Steelers’ QB has been plagued with several sexual assault allegations throughout his career, and although never convicted of any wrong-doing, many Pittsburgh women are playing it safe and avoiding public spaces altogether now that he has some extra time on his hands.
If you are a woman living in the Pittsburgh area, you are also advised to stay away from windows and doors.
Your handsome and humble servant-
El Guapo

[photo by andy mc]