It will be difficult. According to the media, we are on the brink of an economic collapse like nothing the US has ever imagined. With Democrats and Republicans standing nose to nose waiting for the other to blink, one can expect the worst catastrophe since Y2K if there is not a conclusion to the debt-ceiling issue.  However, as the world comes crashing down around us and desperate battles for food, water, and shelter pin neighbor against...

El Guapo prides himself on having low standards and a knack for hyperbole. With that said, read the greatest thing ever written by a human being: So, many simpletons and imbeciles argue that our national priorities are warped beyond repair, that common sense has taken an indefinite vacation, that public policy and the legislators who design it partake in contrived kabuki theater focused on getting re-elected, being theatrically combative,...

clairvoyant (adj.) – able to see things that others cannot The hamster was truly clairvoyant. It picked every March Madness winner without fail.  After they discovered that the cause of its death was its obsession with eating its own filth, it admittedly lost some of the mystique. Build your vocabulary while protecting yourself from the dastardly ways of literate sinverguenzas. [Photo...

According to nerds in lab coats, odor is the sense most closely tied to memory.  As a result, throughout the country, the continuing temperatures will be stapled to the memory centers of all midwest residents’ brains – as thermostats, humidity, and BO levels rise to unfathomable levels.  The sinverguenza spotlight this week is shined on the unparalleled rank wafting from cities and small towns.  Mother Nature, that hissing...

atone (v.) – to apologize, make amends Sure, when you’re a blood-thirsty serial killer there is a lot to consider before you select a religion.  However, Catholicism easily takes the cake in most cases since you can pretty much atone for just about anything with a few Our Fathers. Plus, the clergy isn’t exactly known for its saintly behavior. The kicker is the ceremonial cannibalism. Build your vocabulary while protecting...